My Publix Horror Story

So I was reading my friend Sara's blog about her day at the supermarket with er lovley 2 children and it reminded me of a recent trip to Publix last week and I had to tell the story... So I decide to "run" into Publix for a few things, yea right, $150 later, and this i where my horror story begins. We started off at the bakery for the "promised" cookie (and of course we are riding in the "promised" race car as well) and all was great, even Preston was sound asleep in the Baby Bjorn. Like I said I was just "running" in because it was getting ready to rain and I wanted to get in and out but I ended up really shopping so I was there a while. Right off the bat Addison devours her cookie and starts swiping at everything on the shelves as we stroll down the aisles and if my reflexes weren't spot on we would have had a spaghetti sauce clean up in aisle 4!!! I continue my shopping and begin to start wrapping it up because I want to hurry and not get caught in the rain that I know is coming..So as I'm approaching the checkout lines that all happen to be backed up into the aisles I spot one that has quite a short line right smack in the middle, so I head for the lane and begin to empty my cart full of goodies. Preston decides right that second that he needs to wake up and start screaming his head off because of course he's all of a sudden starving and at the same time Addison "swipes" a roll of Rolos and is secretly chewing on one already when I spot her and am in utter disbelief because she has never done that before!!! So Preston is still screaming and I'm kind of bouncing trying to get him to quiet down when Addison starts screaming...what now!!!!!!...so I guess she had decided earlier to "save" some of her cookie I thought she devoured and just so happened to remember it and as she was unwrapping it she dropped it on the floor..oh well..just keep screaming like your brother. So all the while as I am loading up the conveyor belt with my 201 items I keep feeling the guy behind me giving me rude looks...so what dude I have 2 screaming kids and 201 items and you with you bad attitude and 2 items should just go to the express lane instead of standing here giving me rude looks thinking I'm gonna just let you slide in front of me because you only have 2 items and I'm a really nice person (any other day I usually am a nice person and probably would let you sneak in front of me but not today!!!), no I'm not. For some weird reason I don't know why but I decided to glance up at the lane I was in and of course oh happy day I was indeed in the Express Lane!!!!!!! So I guess between the last time I was in there (ok the day before...I go to Publix a lot) they decided to move the express lane from lane 1 to the MIDDLE of all the lanes, who's stupid idea was that, I mean seriously!!!!! Right as I make my discovery, the sweet little sixteen year old kid behind the register says, "Mam (do I really look that old to be called "Mam") just for future reference this is the express lane and you have quite a bit more than 10 items so it's ok this time but next time could you please use one of the other lanes." I was MORTIFIED not only because of this but because both my kids were now WAILING!!!!! So they finish bagging up my 201 items and I am still red as a beet and yes my kids are still screaming when I start the trek out the door to my car and low and behold it is POURING!!!!!!!! God I love kids and express lanes!!!!!!!