Words That Hurt

Now that I have been working in the NICU for 5 years I have come across many different babies. In particular babies with cognitive disabilities, especially Down Syndrome. I was always under the presumption that babies with DS were only born to mothers that were older than 35. Well, I was totally wrong. Babies born with DS are born to ALL different types of mothers, young, old, first time moms, 5th time moms, even vice-presidential canidates (Sarah Palin) and all other sorts of moms. It just amazes me how many I have seen and taken care of. I also have come across many people I know directly and indirectly that have or know someone that has a child with DS. These are the most loving, passionate families that I have ever met. Granted, in the NICU wether or not the DS was a surprise or not they are usually in such a state of shock/grief that it is hard to see the relationships that will later blossom into those of the utmost love and compassion I have ever seen. Now with all that said I overheard a conversation at work today while in the cafeteria waiting for my lunch that made me so sad and angry.. There was a mother with her maybe 8 or 9 year old little girl (with DS) standing in the fruit bar line and there was also a group of about 3-4 high school aged boys standing near me at the grill waiting for their lunch. These boys kept laughing and saying look at that hot mom with the little retard kid and oh I bet they got here on the short bus. Ok, now I stop because I myself have used those same harsh words so I am by no means trying to stand on this high horse like I am perfect and everyone else is not because they use the word "retard". Now that I am more educated and I have had a little "peek" into the world of DS it makes me so incredibly sad to hear people use these words and to know that I myself have used these words numerous times. These children (and adults for that matter) with DS and other cognitive disabilities want nothing but unconditional love, they can not defend themselves against this type of abuse and it just makes me so incredibly sad. I came across a you tube video on a blog of an old NICU baby that I just have to post and it's 10 minutes long but is very moving and makes you think about the words we say and the effect it has on people who in no way can defend themselves.